Calm Sunlight

“After surviving long nights in Etobicoke, we are here for peaceful december in a new place and instead of running back to Ghana for detty december, we are staying present for peaceful december. This month is all about slowing down, noticing the bumps on this new highway, I mean, new way of living, becoming more aware of ourselves and intentionally creating deeper, more meaningful connections. We are basically focusing on improving what we’ve started in a peaceful way, not trying to prove ourselves to anyone. You know peace begins within and its good we’ve chosen to be peaceful and more introverted. Feeling peaceful is feeling safety within, that’s when your mind and heart align, from there we can ground ourselves, focus on growth, and show up for each other in honesty and calm.” – Kwame, Dec 1st 2025

Saule 

The night of November 30th, 2025, Kwame told me a story, his lived experience, that has helped me shift bitterness into gratitude.

On his first day in Victoria, B.C., Kwame sat beside a lady on the bus. She immediately stood up and changed seats. He didn’t let this moment affect his first day in Victoria, his image of himself or even let her run the narrative of his story. “I was like, great, now I have a place to put my bag.” We joke about this for the next five minutes over the phone, but this small gesture that is now a joke to brush off felt, like something big in my mind. I let this sink into my mind and I felt myself come back to my heart. “What someone does is a representation of that person, not you. It’s not your fault, you haven’t done anything bad.” Kwame tells me. I feel myself detaching from my emotions to see clearly. I’ve lived in a brain that has fed me a narrative deeply saturated in hurt, a story that I’ve felt angry about. This story rewinds itself in my brain often. Kwame tells me, “You don’t have control over it, so don’t stress. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.” Because in life, many times, I am not the one driving. 

This felt like a release, a journey back into my heart, a time of finding peace and calmness within waves. I tell him I’m a sensitive person and this is helpful to hear. “It’s ok to be sensitive but it shouldn’t affect who you are. A lot of people are judgemental, but we shouldn’t let their opinions affect us. It’s like handing your life to something that controls you; your actions and your emotions.”
I feel this experience in me as an adoptee, a woman, and a human who has hurt.

In adoption, the child has no control over what is taken and what is given. There are no rules on how to parent another person’s child, as the birth parent has given up their influence and ability to teach morals, values, and understanding of the world. In interracial adoption, the child may be at risk of being controlled or dominated by the adoptive parent’s perspectives and cultural differences. As a result of being different but taught how to blend in, the child will feel confused and disconnected growing up. Finding friends who can see your heart outside of hurt or extreme bodily stress is important. Finding words to your truth is crucial in feeling understood, held, and seen. Gatekeeping feels like control and neglect feels like being lost while not knowing what you’re looking for. Being lost in the search itself often forgets and silences self-wisdom, knowledge, and inner-knowing.

Today, Kwame shared his wisdom, inner-knowledge, and support to lead me into the presence of safety, agency, trust, and detachment. “Do what is right, not what they want you to do.” he tells me. I feel like I’m finally seeing who I am today instead of the past I have held on to. 

Like Sankofa, a word from the Akan people, we must return, go back and retrieve, and not forget the past. Kwame reminded me this, that my past is important. Running away from my childhood into my ancestor’s past helps me feel safe, cared for, and held. But neglecting my own past in Canada doesn’t allow Sankofa to be fully embodied or understood.

At the beginning of our conversation, Kwame reminded me that self awareness can be peace. After thriving off of the excitement of chaos and newness, and feeling grief and sadness in intensity, I am ready to thrive in calmness and peace. Excitement is fleeting, but calmness is a choice of love and surrender within the intensity of emotion. “You can be whatever you want to be just be intentional because you don’t want to thrive in chaos.” Kwame tells me.  I know this now. Hearts help others.

Medaase Kwame

Kwame

 It’s true, people’s reactions toward you often speak more about them than about you. You don’t need to engage with every reaction, every drama, or every argument you’re invited to. You can simply walk away, like how you used to with the kids, or calmly say, charley thank you, you don’t deserve my time and energy. If you’re pushed to the core and  you don’t know what to say, just pause, take a deep breath, and smile. That’s never weakness, that’s true strength and it clearly shows you’re aware of yourself and what matters to you.

So not every provocation deserves our energy this month. Sometimes staying silent and enjoying the  ride is the strongest and best response we can give. You’re not responsible for how others feel, and you don’t need to validate whatever they think about you. Preserve that your energy for yourself and the people you love, your peace is far more valuable than external validation or others’ prejudices.

Like we always say, it’s not that deep. Let them be wrong about you with their thinking, it’s fine to be misunderstood, whatever they  think about you don’t define who you are or who you’re gonna be, it will even  matter less with time. Just give time some time to do its work instead of reliving it in your mind. Your peace matters, you don’t need anyone’s approval to live your life.

Saule

We move forward but we still must stay true to what’s right, so let’s free others from their cages (Nelson Mandela) and liberate each other into inner knowledge, love, and connection so that the next generation can be proud of where they come from and where they’re going.