Calm Sunlight

Saule: One afternoon on the subway, I sat beside a man with a large instrument case beside him. He’s not wearing headphones so I decide to let my curiosity take me into his.

“What instrument is that?” I ask

“A cello, I’m taking it in to get fixed.” 

Our conversation stays interesting the entire ride. He tells me about his relationship with his cello, where he’s performed, and how it feels to play during different seasons. He expresses the joy when playing, and the commitment and consistency of practice. It reminds me of any relationship we have in life; how we must come back to it, wanting to experience each other again, further understanding, further strengthening, further building a history and future simultaneously.

A point he made, which I reflect on still to this day, is the importance of being calm when playing.

“Yoga and meditation has helped me lessen my stress. But, being a musician, you must understand and control your stress.” If one is tense when playing, it is reflected in the quality of the performance. This shows how important it is to find peace within ourselves so that the body, mind, and spirit can show up the best we can. 

Calmness is something I’ve had trouble with at times, as everyone has. When I was young I’d outburst in tears on the floor so loud that my mother would leave the living room and lock herself in her bedroom. This was when I learned that my emotions can be a burden. I felt ashamed when I was unable to control them.

But really, when we experience them as teachers, that’s when we change.

Letting ourselves feel our emotions brings us to the present. When we are present we have the ability to speak about the emotion and how the past has shaped this feeling. We move forward with it, beside it, because of it, and not running away from it. This man, who collected various tools, techniques, and wisdom to decrease stress as a full-time musician, reminds me of what it means to show up as a full-time human. This importance shows how compassion and understanding creates and contributes to change. To be at peace, to be calm, allows us to transform fully. If we want to change by shaming, blaming, or judging ourselves, only mini bursts of change, fear, and bitterness will be fulfilled within. Now entering places of change with calmness and compassion will help us see tomorrow as changed, as new, as different. If we see that we can change, we can see that the world can change. 

Kwame: I love how a simple subway conversation can reveal something so true and essential about how we live, show up, and care. The man’s connection with his instrument clearly shows how we can relate to ourselves and to the people who truly matter, not with force, pressure, or perfectionism, but with patience, care, consistent presence, and the courage to see what is there.

Calmness shapes the quality of our daily expressions. It is not just an emotional absence or constant composure, but an internal condition that arises when we are not at war with ourselves. When stress, tension, or our emotions go unacknowledged, they inevitably surface in distorted ways. We can’t show up as our best selves, just like tension alters the sound of a violin.

Like you, so many of us learn early on that emotions can feel like a burden, and we carry that experience unconciously into adulthood. But our emotions are meant to be felt. Our anxiety, fears, or sadness don’t mean we are not enough….. They are signals that something human within us needs attention. When emotions are met with compassion rather than judgment, they guide us forward instead of holding us back.

We often spend our lives trying to play our music with a ‘mute’ on we are afraid that if we resonate too loudly, the people we love will leave the living room for the bedroom. But this quietness is not the same as calmness. Calmness does not come from muting ourselves, but from learning how to listen to what we carry within. Just as a string does not find its true sound through restraint alone but through a relaxed hand and an attentive ear, we find clarity by allowing our emotions to be held. When tension is mistaken for control, our expression becomes distorted…..when we stop fighting ourselves, the music finally begins to sound true.

Change rooted in calmness, courage, and compassion creates space for something lasting. I believe peace is the foundation of change. It allows us to move beside our emotions rather than away from them, whereas change driven by shame only leads to fear and bitterness.